There are many stupid things that people have said to me since losing Luke, all from a good place (I expect), so I thought that I would write them down, so you know, that through everything, these are not isolated to your situation or you.
"You're so brave"- I don't feel brave, in fact I feel quite the opposite. I don't know how to be any other way, this is the way I am now, that is me. I am not brave,I am just trying to get on with life, sprinklings of grief in everything I do.
"It's normal to feel like this"- Sure, doesn't feel normal though does it. Not wanting to get out of bed and crying all of the time, doesn't feel normal. STOP SAYING IT'S NORMAL- I know it is, but that doesn't help.
"Try and move on"- No.
"Everything happens for a reason"- This has to be the worst thing anyone has said to me...ever. I would REALLY like to know the reason why we lost our son, because to me, it has made everything a million times worse. This also came from a person who's wife had experienced a miscarriage, make that make sense.
"It takes time"- Now I know this, I know that I won't wake up tomorrow and magically feel better, forgetting that I have a dead son. Please stop giving me advice, I know. I AM TRYING.
There are many things to say to someone who is grieving, if they want advice they will ask for it, if it's not asked for, don't. How about taking them for a coffee, ringing them to talk about normal things. I will talk about my feelings, If I want too. If not, you are getting an "I'm okay".
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